Postpartum sleep is necessary for survival

How postpartum exhaustion affects your brain, body, and bond with your baby

Everyone says “sleep when the baby sleeps.”
But let’s be real — between cluster feeds, leaking breasts, unsettled cries, and the constant state of alert… when exactly is that happening?

Sleep deprivation isn’t just a new mum rite of passage.

It’s a biological, emotional, and neurological shock — and one of the most underestimated threats to postpartum wellbeing.

What sleep deprivation does to you

After birth, your body is trying to heal, and hormones are recalibrating. Your brain is rewiring for bonding and survival. But without enough sleep, this system for recovery falters. Research shows that postpartum sleep deprivation can lead to:

• Impaired memory and concentration
• Mood swings and increased irritability
• Heightened risk of postpartum depression (PND) and anxiety (PPA)
• Lower tolerance for stress and decision fatigue
• Disrupted breastfeeding or milk supply regulation

In fact, one Australian study found that women sleeping fewer than 5 hours a night were nearly 3x more likely to develop PND within 12 weeks postpartum (Goyal et al., 2021, Journal of Affective Disorders).

How minimal sleep impacts your brain

The maternal brain undergoes significant changes during pregnancy and postpartum — including growth in areas responsible for empathy, responsiveness, and emotional regulation. This transformation is adaptive, helping mothers bond with and protect their newborns. 

But chronic sleep deprivation disrupts this process in three key areas:

1. Amygdala over-activation → Emotional reactivity

Sleep-deprived mothers show increased amygdala activity, making them more prone to anger, anxiety, and overwhelm.

A 2020 study found poor postpartum sleep is linked to stronger negative emotional reactions and lower frustration tolerance — particularly in response to infant crying. (Tikotzky et al., Neurosci Biobehav Rev, 2020)

2. Prefrontal cortex suppression → Impaired decision-making

The area responsible for executive functioning becomes less active, leading to forgetfulness, confusion, and difficulty managing daily tasks.

The Sleep Health Foundation notes that lack of sleep in new parents increases mental load and decreases cognitive performance. (Blunden & Galland, 2019)

3. Oxytocin suppression → Difficulty bonding and calming

Sleep deprivation can reduce oxytocin levels, which may affect breastfeeding ease and the emotional connection between mother and baby.

La Trobe University’s Early Motherhood Study linked disrupted sleep with reduced oxytocin response and decreased maternal satisfaction. (Moses-Kolko et al., 2021)

In short: when you're exhausted, your biology is working against your best intentions.

The invisible load: why you can’t just “push through”

In a culture that praises resilience and over-functioning, many mothers feel guilty for struggling. 

But pushing through isn’t strength. It’s depletion and can reduce your capacity to function.

You forget appointments, cry at small things, snap at your partner or loved ones, forgetting things and basic tasks, losing your appetite, feeling resentful, anxious, or numb, loosing your sense of joy or identify and despite your baby finally sleeping, you're too exhausted and wired to even rest. 

These are not personal failures. They are symptoms of exhaustion.

Your nervous system is not broken — it’s overwhelmed.

According to a 2023 COPE report, more than 40% of new mothers surveyed said they felt emotionally unsupported, often due to lack of sleep and inadequate rest infrastructure. (COPE, 2023)

So what can you and how can your support system help?

You can’t always control how your baby sleeps. But you can build in micro-restorative rituals that help your body reset:

1. Tag-team sleep shifts with your partner or support person
2. Accept help — even when it feels awkward
3. Power nap once a day — a 15 minute power nap can help reset the brain)
4. Create a sensory wind-down — indulge in a warm bath, aromatherapy, magnesium body massage or a herbal tea
5. Let go of perfection — cleaning, emails, to-dos can wait
6. Incorporate movement — gentle lymphatic stretches help relieve swelling and tension
7. Reframe rest as healthcare, not laziness
8. Speak up — exhaustion is a medical issue, not a character flaw

Rest isn’t a reward — It’s a human right

You’re running a biologically complex, high-stakes marathon… on minimal fuel.

Your brain, body, and heart are under immense pressure — and they deserve compassion. When your nervous system is on high alert and your sleep bank is empty, your brain isn’t failing you — it’s trying to protect you.

But without proper rest, the parts of your brain that help you cope, connect, and calm become depleted too. This is why rest in the fourth trimester is critical to maternal wellbeing.

A gentle reminder

You’re doing the work of a lifetime, on very little sleep, they very thing that restores your body.

💤 You’re not lazy — you’re healing.
💤 You’re not broken — you’re biologically overwhelmed.
💤 And sleep isn’t a luxury — it’s survival.

🧘 Need help with Postpartum recovery?

We believe rest is sacred — because caring for yourself isn’t selfish. It’s how we honour the mother, not just the baby.

We've covered the basics with our Postpartum gift hampers with the essentials to get your started on prioritising your recovery.

👜 Shop Postpartum gift hampers →